How to Win an Argument Every Time, Why You Should Not, & What it Means for Education

Amid my ongoing research on the use of visuals and infographics to communicate knowledge online, I came across a new infographic called “How to Win an Argument Every Time.” I first saw the infographic on Pinterest, but I eventually tracked it down as part of a larger article on the subject. Yet, in this digital age, bits of our writing and messages, especially when they are in visual form, frequently get pulled out of context, shared, remixed, and re-interpreted. Consider the implications. I’d like to use this article as a platform to write about how to win an argument every time, why you should not, and (as people come to expect on this blog) what it means for education.

Not in the original article, but in another article that reused the infograhic (it is licensed creative commons), the author sets the context as the workplace when there is often a battle for ideas, and how it is important to be able to make your case. Yet, even in the first few paragraphs, the author shares an incredibly important and wise clarification.

Even if you are the boss, there are times when everyone will benefit from you backing down and accepting when you’re wrong. But when you’re right, you need to make sure your point of view is heard.

Within the infographic, it is all about the steps to building rapport and persuasion, advice that is supported in many studies: ask them to share their thought and listen, make eye contact, restate what you hear to show that you are listening and clarify your understanding, subtly mirror body language, build common ground by relating. Then it goes on to share the best strategies for sharing a convincing argument, again drawing from strategies often referenced in the research on persuasion and negotiation tactics.

It is a fine infographic. It draws from some good sources, cites those sources, chunks the content in a few logical categories, uses visuals judiciously and effectively, and even does it under a creative commons license. What is not to like about that? In fact, I do like and appreciate the visual.

Nonetheless, coming across this infographic on Pinterest, separated from its original context, created a good opportunity for me to consider an aspect of life and learning in a digital and connected age, one that finds its way into our schools and classrooms. As such, I offer three considerations:

De-contextualized Debates and Amplifying Tribalistic Tendencies

First, it is wise for us to recognize this dynamic of communication in the digital age. Too often, I see intense debates and disagreements both online and in learning organizations that can be traced back to de-contextualized messages. Consider this social media example.

  1. Someone Tweets a message within a given context.
  2. Others read it without awareness of that context.
  3. As such it is misinterpreted.
  4. False accusations and assumptions ensue.
  5. The message gets shared and further torn from its original context.
  6. Any search for the facts, the truth, or deep understanding is sacrificed at the altar of tribalist tendencies.
  7. The conversation turns into a series of partisan or tribalist bumper sticker statements to deepen personal convictions and do little or nothing to surface truth or valuable insight.

The alternative is for each of us, as we encounter these discourses at various phases of their lifespan, choose to seek understanding and context. That is part of being truly literate in a digital age, and it is not a skill that we master and then tuck away for occasional use. It is something that we must persistently pursue with each new discourse and interaction. It is an important digital habitus.

The Infographic Principles Have Even More Noble Uses

Many of the “strategies” or tactics” in the infographic are quite valuable in communication, but they are not just tools for winning an argument. They are also tools for seeking genuine understanding, building positive relationships, and seeking both wisdom and truth. It is fine to talk about how to win an argument. Rhetoric has been a valued part of education for a very long time, and it plays an important role in life and society. Yet, there is what I like to call wild rhetoric and domesticated rhetoric. Wild rhetoric is drunk with self-interest and wild passions more than anything else. My apologies for mixing metaphors, but domesticated rhetoric is sober, tame, and taught to serve a greater and more noble purpose.

The Most Important Goal is Not Winning the Argument

Third, and this relates to the content of the infographic, it is not good to win arguments every time. As much as I value the article and the infographic, and as much as I took a little time to track down the context for the infographic, the title focuses our attention on trying to win the argument every time. I disagree, and not just in situations where we recognize that we are wrong. Sometimes we are completely convinced that we are right, but we are not. To win would take us and others further away from the objective truth or the wisest course of action. I contend that the pursuit of such an approach, while we will never do it fully or perfectly, is an important part of civil discourse, the cultivation of wisdom, much needed leadership, and actual progress. If truth matters and we value wisdom in the modern world, then skill in rhetoric must always be paired with humility and a love for that which is wise, true, beautiful, and good.

Implications for Education

Regardless of what is happening in social media and larger discourses in society, schools have an important role to play. In my book, What Really Matters: 10 Critical Issues in Contemporary Education, the final item in the list of ten, and the last chapter in the book is entitled, “Truth, Beauty and Goodness.” That is because I continue to argue that, regardless of the method, model, or context in education; these three remain solid transcendentals upon which to build our curricula and learning communities. Learning organizations are places where we can celebrate, nurture, explore, and grow in our understanding of truth, beauty, and goodness. In doing so, we move beyond self-interest, while paradoxically discovering greater meaning and purpose in our lives and in the world.

Schools are places where we can, do, and should argue; even intensely. Yet, our goal is not to win as much as it is to learn, to understand, to grow, and to discover that which transcends the argument itself. In a time when some want to reduce the role of schools to job preparation using reductionist measures of success, and driving people in that direction by creating a culture of compliance, we can point to something bigger, better, more worthy of our time, money, and effort. Yes, we will prepare people for work, but even then, it must be work that grows out of truth, beauty, and goodness. It must be work shaped by wisdom and skill. For that, we must be about more than winning arguments.

Do you disagree or see fault in my thinking? I would love to hear from you. After all, even this article is not simply about making a case or winning an argument. It is just as much about seeking understanding.

Posted in blog, education, media literacy, philosophy of education

About Bernard Bull

Dr. Bernard Bull is a President of Goddard College, author, podcast host, and blogger. Some of his books include Missional Moonshots: Insights and Inspiration for Educational Innovation, What Really Matters: Ten Critical Issues in Contemporary Education, and Adventures in Self-Directed Learning. He is passionate about futures in education; leaner agency, educational innovation, and social entrepreneurship in education.

2 Replies to “How to Win an Argument Every Time, Why You Should Not, & What it Means for Education”

  1. aarondavis1

    This is a useful post Bernard. It reminds me of a post I wrote a few years ago on the dangers of tribes and evolving the conversation. It feels as if social media pushes us to these extremes at times, rather than the grey space.

    Coming from a Literature background, so often things are structured are power and persuasion. I feel if I had (or have) my time again how I might bring some more nuanced conversations in the classroom. I think that the Visible Learning routines can be helpful in developing this.

  2. Maha Bali

    Thanks for this article, Bernard. I think it beautifully sums up some ideas I want to discuss in my course (re digital literacies and intercultural learn) and I was also planning to use your funny infographic from a few blogposts ago as an icebreaker for one of my classes.. So the combo of this and that will be perfect, I expect. I’ll say I kind of knew what to expect reading the title and being familiar with your writing, but you still put it really beautifully, so thank you again for writing this and making so many salient points in one short and sweet post.

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